He didn’t seem to even think that he is doing something wrong

Why doesn’t she just leave? Look how many times he has been arrested. Look how many times he hits her…?

And all of these questions we all make the assumption that she has a choice in any of these things… When somebody is controlled, that exactly what it is… IT IS A CONTROL! Those choices are taken away. All abusers play in their victims vulnerability. The use of non-violent tactics underpinned by violence to totally dictates the partners’ behaviour. Free will is broken down. 

In this post there is  a video from  BBC programme Panorama on domestic violence which depicts the stories as described by some women who endured violent and non-violent domestic abuse.

“I  was frightened of him, I was frightened by the police, I was frightened of everything. Everybody was looking at me as I was mad.” This illustrates the extent to which the fear to speak up and the stigma overtakes over the needs of those who have experienced, and still experience domestic abuse, to come forward and talk. Actually, pretending that everything is normal is a coping mechanism for the victim to keep a peace.

Huge part of  victim’s life: chronic fear, chronic threat, and she dares not disobey.

Here is very insightful extension of the definition for domestic violence:

  • Restricts your dignity, walking on eggshells.
  • Distortive prospections
  • Trivial demands
  • Humiliation and Degradation
  • Exhaustion
  • Private Abusers and Public Charmers
  • Display of Power
  • Occasional indulgence

Coercive control and violence feeds of each other.

This video contains some disturbing images! 

Two Worlds

Empower More


How does it make you feel when you look at this photo? I stumbled upon it recently and it stayed with me for a while.Then it came across again, and this time I decided to share it with you.  This image conveys mixed yet very distinctive messages to me, messages about injustice, war, oppression, discrimination, power and powerlessness, control, unscrupulous politics driven by greedy politicians, poverty, poverty and more poverty, to name a few. I feel uneasy and disturbed not because I am afraid of these people trespassing, as media and the world leaders would like us to feel, but because of the despair, and the hardship these people are experiencing and forced to run from.

The scene illustrates a dozen of undocumented immigrants on the triple fence at the border Spanish city Melilla. On one side of the fence lays Morocco, on the other side it is this beautiful and…

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When The Line Has Been Crossed?

Following from my previous post “Striving for Beauty”, I become more and more aware of what I am applying on my body. Showering and personal cleanliness become a big business all over the world. This is due to the widespread advertisements which generate anxieties about body odor. And there is the inevitable question of how did we end up using such an array of products loaded with ingredients which are unpronounceable? Here is what I found…

Antiperspirants are not only making odor worse by applying them, but also are affecting the bacterial balance in our armpits which leads to more smelling sweats. Instead of dealing with the problem in the first place, antiperspirants are creating more health problems. “Research has found higher concentration of parabens in the breast area where usually antiperspirants are applied, suggesting they may contribute to the development of breast cancer.” In addition to this, “aluminium chloride – the active ingredient in antiperspirants-has been found to act similarly to the way oncogenes work to provide molecular transformation in cancer cells.” Aluminium in the antiperspirants acts as blocking the sweat glands and by blocking our pores to release sweat actually it increases the risks of cancers. Mimicking the hormone estrogen, the aluminium salts is “absorbed and disposed into the breast tissues.”

Parabens, are other chemicals that are used as preservatives in antiperspirants, and many other products, such as suntan lotions. There are natural deodorants sold as an alternative to antiperspirants. However, be aware as  they contain alum, as opposed to “Crystal” deodorant stones which claim to be aluminium-free.  Yet alum found in them also possess risks, as the “potassium alum is natural mineral made up of molecules that are too large to be absorbed by our skin. It works by forming a protective layer  on your skin that inhibits the growth of odor-causing bacteria.”

On showering

I read a very interesting research on the use of showers which claims that daily showering actually wash the natural and such needed bacteria of our skin. And a number of specialists claim that showering less often is not only better but also is beneficial for our skin. Not only good bacteria are vital for the intestinal tract but also our skin needs them (the good bacteria). John Oxford, Professor of Virology at Queen Mary’s School of Medicine and Dentistry, argues that “A vigorous daily shower would disturb the natural bug flora of the skin as well as skin oils.” Dr. Richard Gallo, University of California dermatologist, explains that “Good bacteria are educating your skin cells to make their own antibiotics…that kills bad bacteria.” In other words, if we remove the good bacteria, we ultimately interfere with our bodies’ simplest defence against germs. Then there is the protective layers of the death skin. And as Siobahn O’Connor, co-author of “No More Dirty Looks” puts it;

“As gross it might sound, these dead skin cells that live in our skin are actually desirable. They are there to help protect us from undesirable bacteria, and they can make it harder for some harmful chemicals to easily penetrate the skin. Which means that when you strip your skin with harsh soap or body washes… you make it more vulnerable.”

It is also said that some people experience drier skin, and flare ups of their skin as result of daily showering, such as eczema, which actually happened to me.

Well, When the Line has Been Crossed?

I am furious when knowing that the line is not only been crossed by big brand names, such as Johnson & Johnson,  but our rights are violated, ruthlessly. And here is why: “If you buy special shampoo for your baby, the last thing you will expect is to contain would be known or suspected cancerogenes...But if you live in the US this may in fact be the case. For the past two years, health and environmental groups have been urging Johnson & Johnson to remove two potentially cancer-causing chemicals from its baby shampoo. One of these ingredients is quaternium-15, which releases formaldehyde; a skin, eye, and respiratory irritant, and a known carcinogen (formaldehyde exposure has been associated with leukemia specifically).

The other, 1,4-dioxane, is a “likely carcinogen,” and is present in Johnson & Johnson’s:

  • Baby ShampooJohnson & Johnson Shampoo
  • Oatmeal Baby Wash
  • Moisture Care Baby Wash, and
  • Aveeno Baby Soothing Relief Creamy Wash

According to the CDC, 1,4 dioxane is “probably carcinogenic to humans,” and is toxic to your brain, central nervous system, kidneys, and liver.”

How do you feel yourself? Do you feel rights as a consumer and as a Human are violated and …sick? Because it is how exactly I feel..

What is the solution then?

  • “Look for the genuine USDA Organic Seal.
  • If you can’t pronounce it, you probably don’t want to put it on your body. Ask yourself, “Would I eat this?”
  • Look for products that are fragrance-free. One artificial fragrance can contain hundreds—even thousands—of chemicals and fragrances are a major cause of allergic reactions.
  • Pay attention to the order in which the ingredients are listed. Manufacturers are required to list ingredients in descending order by volume, meaning the first few ingredients are the most prominent. If calendula extract is the last ingredient in a long list, your calendula body wash isn’t very natural.
  • Stick to the basics. Do you really need 10 products to prepare for your day? Simplify your life and rescue your bank account by reducing the total number of products you use daily.
  • Buy products that come in glass bottles rather than plastic, since chemicals can leach out of plastics and into the contents. Bisphenol A (BPA) is a serious concern. Make sure any plastic container is BPA-free.
  • Look for products that are made by companies that are Earth-friendly, animal-friendly and committed to organic and sustainable business practices.

There is reason to be concerned about the numerous toxic chemicals you expose your children to on a daily basis, as each and every exposure adds to your child’s total, long-term toxic load.” (Dr. Mercola)

So what I did instead of using antiperspirants, as the article advised, is to wash my armpits with soap daily, and using a pinch of baking soda mixed with water. I read that a slice of lemon does miracles: I haven’t tried myself. Honestly, I am surprised that soda bicarbonate works really well for me. And if you take into an account the fact that I am a cyclist and use my bike for commuting  (one hour cycling in each direction) I am pleased with the results so far. Still I am closely checking myself. Let’s see how it goes during spring and summer. And for the showers, hmmm, what shall I do?

What do you think? Are you giving up daily showers and the use of antiperspirants, or do you think I am crazy?




Siobahn O’Connor, “No More Dirty Looks”

Striving for Beauty

Previously, I posted in my blog a post about water. The water now is being “purified” and made “safe” to drink (check my post On Water) Then I was thinking, if water, the most essential substance for our existence, has been a subject for manipulation, then what about other stuff?

I didn’t have to look further to see where things are going.  I bumped on so many and contradictory researches and each was claiming that this is safe but the other stuff is not. At the same time, the researches for the “other stuff” were insisting that the article you already read,  and vice versa, actually is not safe. You are confused, aren’t you? Well, you are not alone. I am not only feeling confused, but I also feel betrayed. I began questioning myself more and more – what is safe? It seems to me that there is not a right answer and I wonder in whose interest is to keep information blurred, as we already seen in the case with water. And unfortunately, the confusion does not end there, with the water. I wish, things and answers were simpler. But they are not.

It is not clear for me what is true and what is not; however, one thing is clear, there are lots of dodgy and unsafe practices going on. If not, why then science claims their researches are proven and valid. Then arrives homeopathy and claims that their way to deal with illness and body discomfort is the best and the only one. The net is overflowing from self-proclaimed medical personals, therapist, different specialists and so on, and so on. Who do you trust? How hard is for you to find the true, the one that is “valid” and best suits you? It is apparent to me the fact that every medical personnel, scientist, researcher and so on, strives to prove to us that his/hers methods, are correct; then provide us with their solutions to our problems, and products, be it a medication, sun protection cream, shampoo, sunbeds, healthy vs. unhealthy food, to name a few. All at the expense of us, the consumers.

Well, I ended up reading Dr. Mercola’s article on cosmetic. The article claims that the chemicals used in cosmetics “may” jeopardise your health. When there is a word that says “may,” it begins to ring the bell for me. Here is what the article says:

Fire safety standards implemented in America, led to the wild use of a chemical polybrominated diphenyl ethers (PBDEs) to meet stringent regulations. What this chemical is about I don’t know, you can check for yourself. I am not writing here to provide you with scientific evidences. I am just trying to alarm and warn you that something is wrong; if not everything.  What is alarming for me is what is in all products we use, in the food, etc.

What Dr. Mercola claims is that the PBDEs is linked to a number of health problems, such as cancer, reproductive problems, and impaired brain development, and more. You might begin wondering what is this PBDEs is to do with all of us. Yeah, the answer is more than clear – PBDEs “lurk in personal care products that you apply to your body on a daily basis.” For sure, I am in a process of reconsidering the use of cosmetics in  my everyday routine and in a search of green alternatives, natural products, and even self-made ones.

Nevertheless, we are said to be exposed to this chemical in many ways, not only through personal care products. It has also been used in foam furnitures,  and since 2005 the chemical has been banned in America only to be replaced by other, not less harmful chemicals; the organophosphate flame retardants such as tris phosphate (TDCIPP), and triphenyl phosphate (TPHP). Both these chemicals are used in  a variety of consumer goods, “including furniture, cars seats, carpet padding, and baby products, just to name a few.” So, we can see, that we sleep on these chemicals, walk on them at home, sit in the car seats, and even give them to our babies in the form of toys. How good it is?

Not surprisingly, these chemicals are used also in ladies cosmetics, such as nail polish, Johnson & Johnson Baby Shampoo.   The main chemicals these products contain are:

  • paraben,  a chemical that can be found in deodorants and other cosmetics that “has been shown to mimic the action of female hormone estrogen, which can drive the growth of breast tumors.”
  • Sodium lauryl sulfate – present nearly in all shampoos,  scalp treatments, hair color and bleaching agents, toothpastes, body washes and cleansers, make-up foundations, liquid hand soaps, laundry detergents, and bath oils/bath salts.
  •  Phthalates – linked to the reproductive system of men
  • Methylisothiazolinone (MIT), a chemical used in shampoo to prevent bacteria from developing, which may have detrimental effects on your nervous system.
  • Toluene, made from petroleum or coal tar, and found in most synthetic fragrances. Chronic exposure linked to anemia, lowered blood cell count, liver or kidney damage, and may affect a developing fetus.

Here are some tips of how to protect ourselves from the dangerous chemical exposure, as advised by Dr. Mercola:

  • “to opt for green or organic products – furnitures, clothing, toys, cleaning products, or personal care products.
  • As you replace PBDE-containing items around your home, select those that contain naturally less flammable materials, such as leather, wool and cotton.
  • Look for organic and “green” building materials, carpeting, baby items and upholstery, which will be free from these toxic chemicals. Furniture products filled with cotton, wool or polyester tend to be safer than chemical-treated foam; some products also state that they are “flame-retardant free.
  • PBDEs are often found in household dust, so clean up with a HEPA-filter vacuum and/or a wet mop often.
  • Look for a mattress made of either 100% organic wool, which is naturally flame-resistant; 100% organic cotton or flannel; or Kevlar fibers
  • Coconut oil- can replace skin moisturizer and hair care
  • Always buy products that come in glass bottles.”

So, I feel brainwashed, and dirty, and as I said – betrayed. I feel used and abused by the cosmetic industry and the industry as a whole. Whatever the different self-proclaimed specialists are claiming, to whom I was referring previously, I am seriously questioning my consuming. I don’t want to be conditioned any more, and told what to buy and use.

My intention was not to teach you the different chemicals, but to bring to our attention to what extend the cosmetic and the other industries are ready to compromise our health, but not their profits. It does not matter whether you read the names of all the chemicals or not. Certainly, I am irritated by the fact that they are placed in every single product around us. But if something will generate and accumulate more profits and revenues, what is the problem then?!?

The real question should be “why we are buying so many beauty stuff?” Most of what we buy is completely unnecessary; we are spending money endlessly and put the products on draws or on the shelves at home, sometimes not using them. We are not only spending our money on these products, but wasting on resources, such as packaging, damaging the environment. Last but not least,  we voluntarily pay to contaminate our bodies with chemicals.  The question is: Does real beauty come in a bottle?

Thanks to Dr. Mercola for sharing with us, and educating us about the health hazards many products are posing to us. Thank you Dr. Mercola.


Day 9: You Are a Magnet

Remember, that you are a magnet, attracting everything to you. When you have gotten clear in your mind about what you want, you have become a magnet to draw those things to you, and those things you want are magnetized to you in return. the more you practise and begin to see the law of attraction bringing things to you, the greater the magnet you will become, because you will add the power of faith, belief, and knowing.

(The Secret)

Day 8: Learn to respond to life…

“Learn to respond to life from a position of strength instead of weakness. Discover the tools to redesign your life and future. Think outside of past traditional logic and methods and innovate new strategies to achieve your success. The future has no power to design itself, it only takes the form of our actions and inactions today.”

Mensa Otabil ” Buy the Future”